Fresh snow is beautiful and it often causes me to contemplate.  It’s very quiet outside, save for the crunch of snow beneath my feet.  The birds fly by and I can actually hear their wings beating in the air.  As I drove out of the driveway today, a perfect three-point buck startled some 50 feet from me and started running in the same direction as my car, his attempt at getting away from me.  Back at home, there are rabbit tracks through the snow at the front of our house, funny little tracks like no others.

The snow has caused me to consider deep things.  I’m wanting desperately to hear God today, His answers to questions I have in regards to communication issues with people I love.  I find myself turning the issue around and around in my mind, wanting to stop any crazy thoughts I hold stubbornly to and which will not allow me to enter into His holy place of understanding.  I wrote quite awhile ago about the fact that any situation we find ourselves in is not unknown to God…He has a way He would prefer I go through it.  That’s what I want.  His way through this.  His way means I have to be willing to lay down my way through it and therein lies the rub.  What am I holding onto that is not healthy, reasonable, open, rational about this issue?  It’s similar to looking at a snow-globe; turning it slowly, slowly, looking at it from every angle, caught up in the awe of the thing.  I can’t quite see the awe of this situation, yet I know it’s there because my God says He will turn everything to good.

I’m reminded that I’ve made an invitation to others to join me in spending time with God.  Yes, there’s a difference between listening for God in regards to issues and listening for Him to get familiar with His voice.  Or is there?  Both require me to lay aside my own agenda, my angle, myself.  I can’t hear Him if I’m all caught up in myself.  God’s desire is that I would worship and praise and have a thankful heart toward Him.  That’s all.  He wants relationship with me.  Period.  In this moment I think He’s asking me to lay this issue down and just come be with Him.  That feels right with me.  I can always come back to the issue but right now, I just need to be with God.  I suspect that the awe of the thing will come as I am willing to let go.

You’ve just spent a few moments with me as I processed here.  Hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, but my writing, as you might remember if you read my home page, is my way of encouraging myself.  I don’t know the answer at this moment in time.  But I’m willing to wait with God over this one.  I know that I know He cares for me and if something is an issue for me, He wants to be a part of, and a solution to it.  That’s all I’m hearing at this moment.  That’s enough.  I think I just encountered God in my yard!

The holidays are upon us.  It seems that November 15th begins a recurring,  slippery slide for me every year.  It’s absolutely confounding to me that we could arrive here so quickly each year, I mean it was just February something the other day, wasn’t it?  How did this happen?  I’ve been thinking about going outside and cutting back a few of the plants in the yard before the bad weather gets here.  Hmmm, guess that will have to wait now because there’s already 2 inches of snow on everything.  And what on earth happened to those fall walks I was going to take this year?  Did we have fall?  Or did I actually fall and lose September and October?

There are presents to buy.  I frantically call my kids and ask what sizes the grandchildren are wearing now.  Size 10?  Really?  When did he sprout up so much?  And she’s into size 8?  “My gosh, you must be feeding those kids food tainted with steroids or something!  Will you please stop that?   I’d like to enjoy my grandchildren as ‘children’ for awhile before they move into those years of teen-hood and grandma won’t be any fun anymore.”

There are church activities rolling upon us, drama parts to practice, people to touch base with.  Do we want to have a dinner party?  If so, when will that fit into these rapidly declining days?  And the bazaars.  When will I go check out all the wonderful things at bazaars that I love to look at, and then realize, “I could make that!”, and I never buy anything (and I don’t ever get around to ‘making that’ either!)?  Do I have enough cards for this year and what will I include in my famous Christmas letter?  Something truly boring so Uncle Charlie will make fun of me at Christmas again this year?  Or should I just report the news of this year that shot by attached to a rocket?  Maybe I should totally make up what goes into the letter this year…that will surely get the relatives back in touch with each other.

“Guess what honey, it’s time to dig around in the loft and find all the Christmas decorations.  What do we want to put up this year?  Oh no, that thing is so tacky and worn, put it back into the box,” I say.  Why on earth doesn’t it go into the trash if it’s that tacky and worn?  Do we want a real tree or will the artificial one do?  Real?  Well, then I want to get it soon because I love the smell of trees, even if they do only last about an hour and then begin to drop needles all over the house.  By the time Christmas is over, there are needles around the toilet for crying out loud and the tree looks like something out of a minor forest fire.   I want to know how on earth this happens every year!

There’s always the issue of where will the holidays take place; our house, parents, children, relatives.  OK, so this year we’re cooking dinner.  Perhaps I’ll try that new recipe I saw in one of the magazines.  You know, the recipe for pumpkin, raspberry, pine nut, sage dressing.  My husband whines, “oh, remember the recipe you tried last time?  It didn’t turn out so good!”  Oh yeah, I remember that, it really was an awful recipe.  But I don’t want to cook the same ‘ol things for dinner, I’d like to try something new.  My husband rolls his eyes.  “Here we go again” this particular roll of the eyes tells me.

Oh man, the weather is turning really cold out.  “Honey, are we ready for the arctic blast that is on its way?”  Frozen pipes on these occasions wouldn’t be a good thing…all the company and no bathrooms brings back memories.  I remember the year we totally lost power for a few days, the pump froze, there was about six inches of snow on the ground, and we had to trek to the back pasture of our farm to, well, you know!  It was cold and treacherous business, that year was!

How does this happen that I get caught unaware every year?  “I’m not ready for this,” I scream inside.  I think I just want to sit back, sip on a cup of joe, read a good book, and just let it all go this year.  Let’s face it, before I can blink my eyes, it will be November 15th again anyway!  I can really get a head start if I start thinking about next year right now!

We can’t change the freight-train speed of this time of year, so we might as well find the humor in it all.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all…may our Lord bless and keep you, shine His grace upon you, and make your holiday truly a time of thankfulness, family, friends, and laughter.

Our pastor taught recently about tithing, sowing, and reaping.  His tithing topic was just excellent, drawing our attention to the fact that Scripture tells us to test God out in this area of our lives (see Malachi 3:10).  Why would God tell us to test Him in this?  A challenge?  I loved that pastor said not a word about how much the church needs or doesn’t need our tithes, just that God tells us to tithe and to watch what will happen.  The following Sunday pastor shared about sowing and reaping.  These two areas, tithing, and sowing and reaping, go hand-in-hand.  We are told in 2 Cor 9:6, “But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” (NKJV).

I was pleasantly surprised to come across a Scripture the other day.  I was searching for Scripture to back up a Bible study I was preparing and came across Gen.2:8a, “ The LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden…” (NKJV).  I never saw this before!  God planted a garden.  This was during the time that God was creating everything we know today as our world.  He could have easily just created the garden where He would place Adam and Eve, but no, the Word says He planted the garden!

What are the ramifications of this short verse?  For some reason, this was huge to me.  Our God, this amazing and creative God, could make something out of nothing.  I don’t know how He did this, but He created.  I’m sorry to say that my finite brain has a hard time wrapping itself around the idea of creating something out of nothing, and so my only sad reference to this phenomenon is to a nose that wiggles and things happen!  I cannot fathom how God did all this creating.  I’m reminded of Psalm 139 when David states what I’m feeling about a God that can do the impossible.  It is just too amazing and wonderful for me to take it all in.

God planted the Garden of Eden.  Our God knows about sowing and reaping.  He knows about sowing seeds, tending to them, nursing them along, and the resultant harvest that would come.  He knows about getting your hands dirty.  He knows about how you can get lost in the mere act of pulling weeds.  He knows the peaceful feeling of sitting in the dirt, tending to fragile growing things, helping them get a good start so they will produce tasty bounty at a dinner table.  Oh yes, He knows very intimately about the process of sowing and reaping.

As I sit here this late fall day, knowing that my garden is put to sleep for another season, I already find myself longing again for the peaceful act of tending to living, growing things.  My God did much the same thing in this act of “planting” the garden.  But, there’s far more to God’s plan for sowing and reaping than just the idea of a garden…I’m reminded that sowing and reaping contain implications to my walk with Him, my family, work, ministry, finances and more.  As I sow into reading His Word, I reap life, truth, and “living water” to myself.  As I sow into my family, I reap great satisfaction and love.  And on it goes, this sowing and reaping, into every aspect of my life.

I love it that our God gave us so many true-to-life, modeling examples so we would know exactly what to do in this life.  He planted a garden, a very basic and easy place to start, both the story of us and the example of what our task is here on earth.  What is God asking you to tend to right now?  Do you hear Him?  Be encouraged because as you “tend to” your assignment of sowing, God will send an abundant harvest for you to reap.

I’m reading a new book, “God in the Yard” by L.L. Barkat.  It’s about spending time with God.  OK, so you know I’ve been attempting to purpose setting aside time with God so I learn to hear His voice.  Well, that’s kind of what this book is about.  The author had also been on a quest to seek out God, but couldn’t get past the limitations of her own life.  We so often sabotage our own attempts at spending time with God for various reasons…I don’t have time, I can’t find a good place to do it, I can’t afford to “retreat”, etc.  Yep, I’ve gone to all these places myself.

Well, this author decided that God was calling her to her own backyard.  She struggled to get past the fact that her neighbors might see her out there (so what?), that it was cold (bundle up), and that it didn’t seem as cool as going out into the woods somewhere (oh well).

The questions I answered on my last posting were from her book.  This is an experiment for me.  I’m attempting to spend a little time with God in an insignificant place in my yard, answer her questions, and see what happens.  I’ve already decided that my small space may end up here in my living room looking out the window.  I’m not going to turn this into law!  But, being outside periodically can help you get in tune with God…there’s just something about bird sounds, wind, leaves blowing around, and so on that are conducive to clearing out the cobwebs and putting you more in tune to the Lord.

I’ve been interested in “silence” for a good many years now.  I still struggle with being silent before God.  I don’t know what’s up with that, probably more to do with a full agenda than in my ability to hear.  The full agenda keeps me from this time commitment with God.  So I’m purposing to slow down the agenda right now and I’m going to work my way through this book and see what happens.

If you’re interested in coming along, this could be a fun and perhaps interesting experience for us.  I’m going to camp in chapter one for a bit, so you have time to order a copy of her book if you want.  I’ve made up my mind I’m NOT going to just sit down and read it through, which is my normal bit.  Instead, I’m going to read, savor, and pause as I go.  I’m forcing myself to NOT go to chapter two until I’ve answered all her questions.  Interested?  If so, let me know you’re onboard for this (reply to this post) and I’ll linger awhile longer while you get a copy.  I don’t know where we’re going, but it could be fun.  Even if no one answers, this is where I believe God is taking me…to a small space, to spend a bit of time, with the lover of my soul.

Have a blessed day in Him…

When I was a child, I lived in a tract home in a city near San Francisco with my parents and one brother.  I walked to school every day and sometimes walked home for lunch.  I wasn’t allowed to walk to the store by myself (about 3 blocks away) until I was probably 10 years old (that’s a guess).  I received one present for my birthday each year and one major and one minor present for Christmas.  I didn’t feel deprived of anything and in fact, thought we were the typical American family of four.  I had good friends in the neighborhood, most of whom changed once I entered junior high school and I began to branch out in my friendships.  I had good parents, a strict upbringing, I knew I was loved (although we weren’t a touchy-feely family) and I didn’t question things until I entered my teens.

Today I live in the country in a town of about 10,000 with my husband.  We own a home with a view that I never in a million years thought I’d have.  I had to face numbers of things about my childhood that have been hard, but for the most part, I’m grateful for the upbringing I’ve had.  I feel like I’ve lived most of my dreams save for a couple still to go.  I’ve accomplished a number of things in my life and that makes me happy.  I’m amazed I still follow God (after such a rocky beginning and middle).  I never thought I’d actually go on a mission trip in my life because I was too fearful.  I now have two under my belt and I’d like to go again.  This part of my life is turning out to be the best yet.  Hmmm, does God save the best for last?

If I could, I would return to the innocence of my youth.  Other than that, there is absolutely nothing I would want to turn back the clock for.  I love my life and what God continues to show me about life.  It has been hard at times, but I love where He’s taken me, where I believe I’m going, and I believe I’ll finish strong.  I’m learning to accept, probably the biggest accomplishment yet.

Now it’s your turn, an interesting little “free-writing” exercise that will force you to consider.  Answer the following three statements:  1) When I was a child, I lived…  2) Today I live…  and 3) If I could, I would return to…

I’m on an experiment with God…want to join me?

Our son and his wife just bought a house.  It hasn’t closed yet, but it’s their dream home and they expect to be moving in slightly before Thanksgiving.  Actually, they have found themselves right smack in the receiving end of this confounded recession, purchasing a home that four years ago they couldn’t possibly have afforded.  Funny how things turn out.

My son grew up in the country.  He was very firm as a teenager about the fact that he wasn’t going to live in the country, just too boring and not enough to do.  So, as soon as he graduated, he began spending more and more time in the Portland area.  We would sigh in relief when he came home at night after a day and evening with friends in Portland.  He also spent quite a bit of time at Onyx House in Eugene where he met his future wife and the allure to be anywhere with Autumn pulled like a magnet on him.  Once they began dating in earnest, they too spent time in Portland.  They married and moved to the burbs of Portland.

Then the grandbabies came, one, two, three.  Suddenly we heard talk out of my son’s mouth about how he wanted his children to grow up with land around them, but they just couldn’t afford a house in the country.  They struggled with finances and learned some hard lessons over the past 10 years.  We kept telling them to talk to God about their dreams, that anything is possible, even as you climb out of error pits.  They took a Dave Ramsey class and heard what they needed to do about turning their financial issues around.  We’re so proud of them…they actually did what they learned and as of August, were debt free save for their home.  They kept looking for the dream home all this year and praying that God would help them find the right place.

I’m smiling as I write this because God is so incredibly good to us, His children.  He listens when we tell Him what the desires of our hearts are and I believe He really does want to give us every single one of them.  I can’t speak to the process that God goes through in determining which ones we get, but I’ve seen Him do this over and over in my life and now we get to watch Him do it in our son’s life.  Ask and you shall receive.  Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but if not, there is often a replacement that is so much better than what we asked for.  Our son and family will move shortly into the house of their dreams.  They didn’t think it was possible and yet this home is even more than they asked for; more room, more upgrades, more land than they thought possible.

Thank you Lord for your provision.  What a joy to look for your hand in every blessing.

What a week.  Full, overflowing.  I don’t think it could have possibly been packed any fuller than it was.  My spirit wanted to scream, “save me!” as I went through the days, one foot in front of the other.  As I sit here today, I’m grateful for a day to totally unwind.  No appointments, no obligations, just quiet here in the house.  Ahhh, wonderful.

I’ve been learning some things these days.  God is keeping me in the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19.  It is turning into a watering hole for me.  You know, one of those places in the Bible that you go back to over and over again because there, in the midst of the words, is life, refreshment, power, instruction.  I was caught unaware of my need to rest in this Scripture yet as I read these words, I keep receiving.  I love it.  As in this story where the Lord asked Elijah in chapter 19:9, ” What are you doing here, Elijah?”, I find the Lord asking me similar questions.

“What are you doing here Linda?  What is happening in this particular space, place, time in your life?  Where are you going girl?  Why are you rushing around so much?  Come and rest with me here.  Eat a little, drink a little.  Spend some time with me, won’t you?”  That’s the invitation I’m hearing from my Lord.

I’m in a transition space in my life.  There are many changes coming.  In my past, it was just these kinds of transitions that could totally undo me.  “Oh my gosh, what am I going to do now?  I can’t just sit around here and wait for things to happen, I’ve got to make something happen!”  That was my mindset.  If it’s not unfolding right before my very eyes, then by golly, I’m going to pull up my sleeves and get something going on my own.  This comes from world views like I am the master of my own destiny, nobody is looking out for me except me, and if something is going to happen, then I have to be the one to make it happen.  I would guess that God sits on His throne, shaking His head, and saying to Jesus and the Holy Spirit, “oh no, she still doesn’t understand, does she?”

I’m working really hard to try and listen for the still, small voice of God.  I hear God in other ways like pictures, through my writing, etc., but I’ve not practiced much in listening for His voice.  I’m trying to change that right now.  I want, more than anything, to hear my Master’s voice.  I’m realizing I need to bring it all before Him and actually ask for His wisdom and perhaps even His permission about many, many aspects of my life.  Why?  Because I can see the mess of my past ways in not bringing it all before Him!  I’m just beginning to understand the meaning of the word surrender in my life.  Oh yes, this is a learning time.  I think I’ll go get another cup of coffee and sit by the watering hole for awhile.  Where are your watering holes?  Run there…God is waiting for you!

I spent a week with eight others earlier this year at the conference on Biblical counseling techniques that I mentioned on my “Just Encourage” page .  The other day I was impressed to write to them all and ask how things were going in their lives.  Something thrilling happened.  I’ve heard from five of the eight (including me makes six) in the last few days.  Here’s the wonderful thing.  All six of us reported growth, action, movement in the forward motion.  I was thrilled to the point of tears.  The remarkable thing about this is that at the beginning of that week in April, none of us knew each other.  After five short days and an intense week of learning and sharing, we knew each other probably better than anyone else in our lives (other than spouses perhaps), we all committed to going home and doing something about what we learned, and those reporting back have all moved forward in their lives and their struggles.  The other two members have grown too, I have no doubt, but just haven’t gotten back to me before I started this blog.

I’m not going to mention names, initials will suffice.  Co. overcame doubt and fear to step out and begin a new business.  S. gave it all up to the Lord and ended up in Africa this summer on a mission trip that may mean continued contact and visits there.  R. has jumped into God’s river of life completely, and is on a fast track to get her licensing credentials in place and learning about herself.  Ci. has made numerous changes in her job and personal life and put it all in God’s hands.  G. completed a licensing course, joined a group with others where they are going deep with God, and she and her husband are teaching pre-marital classes in their church.  And I have done much the same as the rest, joined a group going deep, have learned more about myself in the last months than in a very long time, and am making some changes in my life that I’ll continue to share down the road.

The thing that brought me to tears about their responses is that all this change and movement has happened in just five (count ’em, 5) short months!  Now I haven’t talked intimately with very many of them about these past months, but I know what each of us went through during our week together; it was hard work and it required a willingness to be vulnerable.  As I continued to read their emails the other day, I could feel this emotion welling up inside as the Lord allowed me to get a glimpse into each of them, comparing what they were sharing with what I learned and knew about them just five months before.  I don’t have a clue whether any of them have had this same epiphany or not.  I don’t know how difficult (or easy) this five months has been for them individually.  All I know is what my own five months has looked like — hard!  I would make a guess that they have struggled no less than I have.

Here’s the wonder, joy, and miracle of this realization.  Each one of us began something last April, whether we fully gripped the reality of that decision or not.  We each went home, and had some decisions to make.  Evidently, we each decided to plunge in completely to what God had waiting for us.  It was hard work, this continuing on without the other seven who knew so intimately what each others’ struggles were about.  Five, short months later, God allowed me to see what He was seeing in our group…people who were moving forward because they understood that standing still, or worse, that going back, was unacceptable.  Each one of us took God’s hand and told Him we were ready, all in our own ways.  And we went.

April yellow team, I hope you all read this.  I love you all.  Thank you for your acceptance, encouragement, kindness, love, and commitment.  You each did what the Lord commanded, “that you love…”.  Thank you for your accountability.  We may not be communicating often, but it’s clear to me that things have been a’shakin in each of our lives.  Trust God…He has a plan and as we continue to put our hands into His, He’ll get us through.  In April, we truly learned there is healing in the Body of Christ!!

Where do you go when you don’t know where you’re going?  Forward…just go forward!

A visit from friends prompted a revelation about a period in my life that I would just as soon forget about.  We started talking about dreams, goals, things we’d like to accomplish.  It was great.  Good conversation and many morsels to think about.  I pray that our time was as encouraging for them as it was for me.

Later, after our friends had gone home and my husband and I had a chance to sit down and talk, we discussed a time many years ago when I was attempting to put a dream into action.  The outcome?  The dream is still a dream today.  What shocked me most was a new revelation the Lord gave me about that time period and its relation to right now.

This dream of mine was put into gear almost 25 years ago.  I actually did something about it by stepping out and putting some action behind my desires.  I was making progress and then no less than six major losses occurred in my life in the period of six months time.  I was devastated and I didn’t realize the impact of those losses until much later.  Five years to be exact.  By then, the damage had been done and the dream had died a quick death.

The Lord opened my eyes to see this right now.  Sad to say, He showed me that I have allowed the enemy of my soul to win in an area of my life.  “ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour”  1 Peter 5:8 (NKJV).  I was shocked to say the least.

A dream began to be realized 25 years ago.  I worked at it for over two years.  The enemy came and threw some roadblocks into my path and unfortunately, my focus turned to the roadblocks and I was toast!  I had not understood until last night the hard facts:  I took the enemy’s bait, allowed them to completely overtake my focus, got caught up in the emotions of the events, and allowed my dream to die.  As I consider the damage, I’m very sad at the outcome.  If I had been able to overcome, I might be sitting in a very different place today.  If only…

As much as I hate to admit defeat, I’m grateful that the Lord has allowed me to realize this bit of information, even these 25 years later.  It rather gets my dander up…in fact, more than my dander has been affected!  I’m finding something new rising up inside of me.  Determination.  I’ve been blinded for 25 years, but no more.  The dream is surfacing once again and time for me to take a good, hard look at it and decide whether it deserves my attention once again, or was it simply a passing desire.  Time will tell.

My prayer is that you might consider where you are in relation to your dreams.  Understand that the enemy will do anything to stop you from realizing your dreams and goals, especially if they have something to do with your God-directed paths.  The enemy doesn’t want you to make it.  Period.  Is it time to take back some territory lost?  I’m thinking so.

“As a loincloth clings to a man’s waist, so I created Judah and Israel to cling to me, says the LORD. They were to be my people, my pride, my glory—an honor to my name. But they would not listen to me.”  Jeremiah 13:11

I saw this in an online devotional today.  The writer, Diane Eble in her devotional, “Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-filled Devotions”, went on to comment, “This is God’s heart desire: to be in such a close relationship with his people that they cling to him.  He then pours out his blessings so that everyone can see how wonderful and good he is.  This is still his intention!  So–are you clinging to him?  Are you letting God be God in your life, such that you bring honor to him as people see clear evidence that God is active in your life?  Are you listening to God?  Not listening was his people’s downfall.  Don’t let it be yours!”

Oh my gosh, there’s this listening thing again!  It seems everywhere I turn these days, I keep running into words about listening to God.  I don’t know about you, but I’m really getting it that God wants me to LISTEN to Him!  The other day I heard some answers after asking a couple of questions of God.  I was astounded because the answers came so quickly.  Then I ended up second-guessing myself.  “Was that you God or was that me?”  I hate it when that happens.  The answers I received kind of made my heart leap, so I was really pleased with what I heard.  Can I trust it?  Can I trust God?  Well of course I can trust God, but it’s me I worry about!  Did I hear correctly or was it the pizza I had for dinner?  This listening thing isn’t as easy as one would think.

Then there was another answer I heard this past weekend to another question I asked of my Lord.  This was the same quick, softly spoken words I heard earlier however, these were words of correction in my life.  Ouch!  He told me to do something I didn’t want to do.  I had been having an attitude over an incident with my husband earlier and I very clearly heard God tell me what I needed to do about the situation.  I think I grumbled to God about it, but I relented and did what I was told.  Do you know what happened?  The next day, my husband made a comment to me that he really noticed a change of heart in me through my actions the day before!  That caught me off guard.

So, I come back to the devotional.  In listening, I heard something I liked one time, and something I didn’t like the next.  But I made up my mind to be obedient to what I heard and worked on both things.  What did I get in exchange?  A blessing.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  The last line of the devotional is still ringing in my ear…”not listening was his people’s downfall.”  I don’t want to end up there so I’m going to work on listening some more, whether I like it or not!