Blogging has its issues.  Like you have to do it.  The last couple of weeks have been blogging-less because, well, nothing has been there to blog.  My husband would probably challenge that statement because he thinks I’m an endless stream of words in comparison to him.  Whatever.

There has been a lot going on within me in the past few weeks.  I’ve been chewing a lot on what I’ve been hearing from God.  There have been many fits and starts about what I’m to do right now.  Remember the dream recently about having triplets?  Well, there have been a couple more dreams that have been equally interesting.

And then there are the books I’ve been reading.  “God in the Yard” has led me to pursue God.  Not that I always hear anything, but simply waiting on Him has been a very good thing for me right now.  I’m living a new, unfamiliar style…waiting on God for the next move.  In the past, I’d have bolted by now, making something happen out of my frustration, boredom, whatever.  Not right now.  I’ve determined that making something happen isn’t necessarily what God would have me do if He had His way.  After many errors along the way, I’m satisfied to wait on Him right now.

Our pastor has recommended another book, one he’s actually using as the basis for his preaching right now.  It’s called, “Wild Goose Chase” by Mark Batterson.  Whoa!  What a book.  I think this is my all time favorite book.  It is compelling.  I blasted my way through this book, it is that good.  In fact, I wish I’d written this book!  🙂  Wild Goose Chase will ask you direct questions about your walk with the Lord and will make you squirm.  Oh yes, I’ve been squirming here.

The final reading I want to share with you today is out of  “Experiencing God Day by Day”, a devotional by Henry T. and Richard Blackaby.  The reading was out of Luke 1:37; “For with God, nothing will be impossible.”  It begins discussing the wonder of Jesus’ birth…how God made something impossible (a virgin birth) become possible.  The reading continues, “When God speaks of doing the impossible, it is no longer absurd.  When was the last time God spoke to you about what He wanted to do and you were scared to death by its magnitude?”

And there you have it, right where I’m living.  I’ve heard God speak to me about something He wants to do through me and I’m scared to death!  What if I fail?  What if I can’t?  What if?  No, no, no, I’m not getting it.  “For with God, nothing is impossible.”  Mary absolutely had the right answer, that she was open to anything God wanted to do through her.

Becoming pregnant wasn’t something Mary could do.  He didn’t ask her to get pregnant, He just presented the possibility of using her and, thankfully, she said a bold YES!  She didn’t take time to think it over, she didn’t bolt from the magnitude of the request, she simply said yes.  “Yes, God.  You can use me to do this thing that seems utterly impossible to me.  Yes.”

She didn’t get all tangled up in projecting into the future about what might happen if she said yes.  She didn’t stumble on such things as “will I make a good mother, what if I can’t get pregnant, what if my whole town rejects me?”  She didn’t go to any of those places.  She just said yes.

The point is that God doesn’t want me to become someone else, a suddenly devout, error-less saint who does everything right, knows no sin, and has the talents to do anything for God.  He knows what He’s doing in asking…”will you trust me?”  He has His reasons for asking you and me to do anything for Him.  It’s our job to trust Him and simply say yes.

That’s where I’ve been the last couple of weeks…wrestling with myself over something I’ve heard.  I have a choice.  Will I allow the fears, the unknowns, the magnitude of His request to stop me?  Or will I just say yes and then trust Him, that He can make the impossible happen?  I just have to say yes and begin.  At least He’s not asking me to become pregnant and bear the Savior of the world!!  Whew!