I’m Walking with God

I’ve arrived at a place in my life that I’m more and more in awe of God.  I have struggled with the fact that God loves me.  I could think of thousands of ways that I’ve disappointed, disobeyed, and otherwise disengaged myself from the Lord.  Oh yes, I knew that the Word, His Word, says that He remembers my sins no more as soon as I repent of them.  I’ve had plenty of practice with that.  But I’ve never truly gotten it that God loves me with a love so huge, so all encompassing.  Something always fell short inside.  “Oh, I’ve messed up again.  God can’t be very happy with me again.”

You see I was having a love affair with a God that I didn’t really understand.  He’s for me, not against me.  He’s always urging me on.  He’s used me in times when I figured I wasn’t very usable.  I always looked past what the Word said, and configured in my own mind this God who couldn’t possibly be happy with me and if He wasn’t happy with me, then He must not love me.  Unfortunately, these feelings come from our circumstances rather than truth.

Last week I had an experience that helped me see, I mean really see, just how much God loves me.  I was in a situation where folks around me were talking in a critical and judgmental way.  I recognized it immediately and decided that I didn’t want to go there.  Unfortunately I wasn’t in a position to remove myself.  The next day, the same thing happened, but this time I joined in with the criticism and gossip that followed.  Just that quickly I slid into sin.

Later in the evening, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my mistake.  It was as if I heard Him tell me, “Linda, you saw it yesterday, identified it correctly, and chose not to participate.  Yet, today you joined in the fracas.  Why?”  The conviction cut me to the quick.  I was so quickly filled with remorse and sorrow.  I prayed, asking God’s forgiveness of my sin, and that He help me in the days to come not to succumb again.  And do you know what?  He answered my prayer!  The situation didn’t change much over the following days and yet God helped me to simply sit back and not participate.  It was absolutely stellar!

I’m beginning to see that the shift I’ve mentioned before has to do with my perception of God and His position in my life.  I’ve followed the Lord for a good many years now.  In spite of the fact that I feel so many of those years were for naught, God is showing me new things about myself.  He’s showing me that He loves me in spite of myself.  I honestly don’t know what has kept me following Him all these years, but I’m so glad I never gave up.  My understanding of who God is and what He’s about in my life is shifting from head knowledge to heart knowing.  I never before quite got it what loving God was all about.  I wanted it, I just didn’t know how to do it.

I’m coming to a new understanding about God’s promises for my life and where I stand in His eyes.  He loves me with a love beyond anything I can think or imagine.  He knows I sin, and yet He loves me anyway.  He uses me in circumstances where I feel I’ve completely failed and yet, I can look back and see situations now where I know He used me to change something in someone else’s life.  Guess what?  He loves you the same way.

Take a moment today and consider what your thoughts are about God and your love of Him.  You may not be able to quite say that you know He loves you completely and unabashedly and, you may not be able to say that you love Him in the same way.  That’s OK.  As long as you keep on the road, as long as you confess your sins as soon as you become aware of them and ask Him for His forgiveness, as long as you keep trying to follow Him the best you know how at any given moment…well, God will continue helping you grow and moving you along the continuum.  How do I know?  Because that’s exactly what He did for this woman who didn’t understand His love and yet kept walking with Him.

Many years ago, not long after I was saved and asked Jesus into my heart, I heard someone talking about the fact that “they walked with God.”  That statement astounded me.  I didn’t get it and I’d never heard of such a thing before.  But do you know what?  Thirty-five years later, I understand that statement completely.  I’m walking with God.  I pray you will continue walking with Him too…He really is crazy about you!  And if you’ll keep walking, He’ll keep moving in your life.  I pray your journey won’t take 35 years like mine did to get the fact from your head to your heart.  Why don’t you talk if over with God today?  He’s waiting to hear from you…

Trust Him, Love Him!

I read something today that really caught me.  It said, “trust Him, for that is how we love Him.”

Psalm 91:2 (AMP) I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!

Think about it.  How do we show that we love someone?  I just spent a bit of time with my grandchildren.  They trust me about a few things.  They know that I’m going to undoubtedly say something that will make them laugh.  They trust that I will feed them.  They trust that they are safe when they come to spend time with us.  All these things add up in my mind to the fact that they love me.

Well, our Father longs for the same thing.  When we read His Word, we’re showing Him that we trust in what the Bible tells us.  When we get a nudge from the Holy Spirit about, oh say He wants us to tell someone something, and we go ahead and do it, we’re showing that we trust Him.  When we reach outside our comfort zone and tell someone about how much our heavenly Father loves them, we’re showing God that we trust Him, His Word, and His directives that this is exactly what we’re supposed to do.

God longs for us to trust Him and in so doing, we display our love for Him.  Father, I pray that today and all my tomorrows I will trust you more and more with my life, my purposes, and my directions.  I may not know where You are necessarily taking me at any given point in time, but Lord, I want you to help me trust you in those unknown moments.

God is so tremendously magnificent and creative, if we were to know what the next moment, or day, or week looked like, we’d more than likely make a mess of things.  He will do so much more than we can imagine or think.  Ask God to help you trust, even when you don’t have a clue what’s happening around you and you can’t seem to make heads or tails of where God is taking you!  This is why it is so important to remember where you’ve come from.  Did you get to this point because you did everything correctly?  I don’t think so.  What DID the Lord do for you in those times past?  Remember those moments…they will help you trust in these moments of questioning or darkness or just stillness.

Trust Him…He’s smiling every time you do!

Impossible? Not with God…

Blogging has its issues.  Like you have to do it.  The last couple of weeks have been blogging-less because, well, nothing has been there to blog.  My husband would probably challenge that statement because he thinks I’m an endless stream of words in comparison to him.  Whatever.

There has been a lot going on within me in the past few weeks.  I’ve been chewing a lot on what I’ve been hearing from God.  There have been many fits and starts about what I’m to do right now.  Remember the dream recently about having triplets?  Well, there have been a couple more dreams that have been equally interesting.

And then there are the books I’ve been reading.  “God in the Yard” has led me to pursue God.  Not that I always hear anything, but simply waiting on Him has been a very good thing for me right now.  I’m living a new, unfamiliar style…waiting on God for the next move.  In the past, I’d have bolted by now, making something happen out of my frustration, boredom, whatever.  Not right now.  I’ve determined that making something happen isn’t necessarily what God would have me do if He had His way.  After many errors along the way, I’m satisfied to wait on Him right now.

Our pastor has recommended another book, one he’s actually using as the basis for his preaching right now.  It’s called, “Wild Goose Chase” by Mark Batterson.  Whoa!  What a book.  I think this is my all time favorite book.  It is compelling.  I blasted my way through this book, it is that good.  In fact, I wish I’d written this book!  🙂  Wild Goose Chase will ask you direct questions about your walk with the Lord and will make you squirm.  Oh yes, I’ve been squirming here.

The final reading I want to share with you today is out of  “Experiencing God Day by Day”, a devotional by Henry T. and Richard Blackaby.  The reading was out of Luke 1:37; “For with God, nothing will be impossible.”  It begins discussing the wonder of Jesus’ birth…how God made something impossible (a virgin birth) become possible.  The reading continues, “When God speaks of doing the impossible, it is no longer absurd.  When was the last time God spoke to you about what He wanted to do and you were scared to death by its magnitude?”

And there you have it, right where I’m living.  I’ve heard God speak to me about something He wants to do through me and I’m scared to death!  What if I fail?  What if I can’t?  What if?  No, no, no, I’m not getting it.  “For with God, nothing is impossible.”  Mary absolutely had the right answer, that she was open to anything God wanted to do through her.

Becoming pregnant wasn’t something Mary could do.  He didn’t ask her to get pregnant, He just presented the possibility of using her and, thankfully, she said a bold YES!  She didn’t take time to think it over, she didn’t bolt from the magnitude of the request, she simply said yes.  “Yes, God.  You can use me to do this thing that seems utterly impossible to me.  Yes.”

She didn’t get all tangled up in projecting into the future about what might happen if she said yes.  She didn’t stumble on such things as “will I make a good mother, what if I can’t get pregnant, what if my whole town rejects me?”  She didn’t go to any of those places.  She just said yes.

The point is that God doesn’t want me to become someone else, a suddenly devout, error-less saint who does everything right, knows no sin, and has the talents to do anything for God.  He knows what He’s doing in asking…”will you trust me?”  He has His reasons for asking you and me to do anything for Him.  It’s our job to trust Him and simply say yes.

That’s where I’ve been the last couple of weeks…wrestling with myself over something I’ve heard.  I have a choice.  Will I allow the fears, the unknowns, the magnitude of His request to stop me?  Or will I just say yes and then trust Him, that He can make the impossible happen?  I just have to say yes and begin.  At least He’s not asking me to become pregnant and bear the Savior of the world!!  Whew!